The Stirtons

There's our tree!

Sometimes I get very restless in this life. Restless because no matter how good the “good” things in this life are, they only temporarily give me happiness and contentment. Restless because my human nature does not always cling to Jesus or honor Him in all I do. As Paul states in Romans 7:15, “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Sometimes I go through my day busying myself with everything it seems, frustrated at my “lot” in life, and I wonder why I feel this restlessness, but deep down I know. I haven’t rested in the Lord. I haven’t spent time in his Word, I haven’t spent time meditating his truths and promises, and I certainly haven’t spoken to my Heavenly Father in prayer…and I am left…restless.

But there is one thing I am sure of. It is that every time I do go to God’s Word, I am not disappointed. My circumstance in life does not change, but my perspective changes as God’s Spirit speaks to me. There I am reminded of who God is, what He has done for me, and who I am in Christ.

The longer I go in this journey of life, the more I realize my true need for my Savior. I realize my need for the One who came to seek and save the lost—the One who sought me out and died to save me. Without Him, my life is completely meaningless and empty. The only thing that fully gives me joy and a reason to live (especially through my current loss of Eric) is my relationship with Jesus Christ.

I never lived with an eternal perspective before Eric died. And, while I can’t say I even always live that way now, my thinking has definitely changed...and I’m grateful that this life ISN’T all there is…because, to be honest…it is hard!

"Heaven is not here, it's there. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for." ---Elizabeth Elliot

Like Elizabeth Elliot, a woman who lost her young missionary husband and was left with a young daughter describes….God is right there, wooing us to Him, our only place of contentment…in his arms. It is our choice as to whether or not we take hold of His hand.

While this Christmas season was a blessing in many ways, especially through the eyes of a one year old, it was also challenging. My mind kept drifting back to a year ago where we were at with Eric. It was on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when Eric was in the hospital very sick. He had horrible seizures, loss of vision and balance, and the news that the cancer had spread to his brain came to us. As I’ve mentioned before, it is difficult to erase horrible images and Doctor’s “news” from your mind. This pain of recollection has additionally left my mind “restless” at times, especially on Christmas Day, a difficult one for all of us who loved Eric. But during these times I also rejoice in thinking of Eric’s first Christmas in heaven and how magnificent it must have been!

Here are a few pictures of the special moments we had this month. Landon and I had a lot of special times together this Christmas Season with family and friends…from searching for a Christmas tree, to shopping trips, to Hallmark Christmas movies, to cookie baking.