Meet Marc Stirton!

Throughout Eric's cancer and death, I claimed Lamentations 3:22-23 which states:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, for his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is they faithfulness."

I have seen God's faithfulness and his steady hand walking, guiding, and loving Eric, Landon, and I through the toughest of days and the most joyful of days.  I praise the Lord for truly giving me grace and mercy each and every day.  It is something I am not deserving of, but through his great love, he chooses to bestow and lavish them upon me.  While God chose to take my beloved Eric to be with Him sooner than we would have all liked, I have learned (and still am) to trust in God's all-knowing and all-powerfulness  This is something I, as a human, cannot always comprehend easily, but still I have chosen to trust.

God has continued to demonstrate his faithfulness to Landon and I by bringing Marc Stirton into our lives. Recently, he and I became engaged, and will be getting married in January!  Marc truly has been the most amazing answer to prayer in Landon's and my life.  His love and pursuit for Jesus has led me into desiring a closer walk as well.  His constant, selfless, understanding love for us has truly been a picture to me of Christ loving his people.  He took me as I was...so thankful for him, but a bit bruised from the last couple years...and loved me just the same.  He jumped right into loving my little boy, Landon, and has truly taken on the role of being a father to him.  When we first began talking, and I posed the question if he could love a child as his own, his words were, without hesitation... "The answer is easy...how could I say I want children someday, but not be willing to take a child without a father?"  He then responded by saying, "Of course I could love him as my own."  Marc also has been so sensitive from the start, in me sharing about Eric.  We talk about him often actually, and that has been something very special to me.  For, Eric will always be apart of my life, and I will always love him.  Some might ask, "How do you love two men?" Before I met Marc, and as I struggled through my grief, I wondered the same thing, and if that would ever be possible for me.  While I did not desire to be alone the rest of my life, I did not know how I would ever love someone as much as Eric.  For me, this is how I have learned to explain it as I've processed through it:  I never use the words, "I've moved on."  I use words like, "I am moving forward with my life."  Love grows....I have made room in my heart for Marc.  It is similar to people having more kids.  You don't stop loving one because you have another.

Marc and I's engagement picture

Since Landon and I moved back home soon after Eric's death, my dad has prayed by Landon's crib every single night.  In those prayers, I know my dad prayed for a Godly husband for me, and father to Landon.  I know my dad's prayers were answered through Marc.  Not only that, but my dad prayed for another pilot daddy for Landon.  Since Eric was a pilot, my dad just felt like Landon needed to have another pilot for a daddy.  Well...Marc is an F-18 Navy Reserve Instructor Pilot out of Oak Harbor, Washington.  (I on the other hand, just prayed for a Godly man to someday enter into our lives...but dad went above and beyond for Landon!)  So now we say Landon has
    a heavenly Father...Jesus,
               a daddy in heaven...Eric,
                       an earthly daddy...Marc.
                            He is a very blessed little boy!

Landon with Marc by the F-18

Marc teaching Landon how to do a pull-up!

To be honest, while I prayed for this for Landon and I amidst my grieving, I had a very difficult time believing this prayer would ever come true.  There were times I felt my joy had come and gone and now God was done blessing me.  It was difficult for me to believe God still wanted to give me good things.

Through the last few years, I've learned more about God.  I've learned that it is totally okay for me to ask God for things... to tell him my desires.  There was nothing wrong in praying for a man to come into our lives.  However, I've also re-defined what "blessings" are.  I think, especially in our American Christian world, we view "blessings," as...a healthy family, nice house, clothes, job, etc.  If we have those, we say we are blessed, and if we don't, we somehow blame God or never seem to be content or have true joy.  Ultimately, God never promises that I will have the perfect man, job, children, house etc.  Yes, sometimes he does decide to bless us with a "now yes" for those things we ask for, (and in our case, Marc coming into our lives) but ultimately we should desire God's eternal blessings...opportunities for us to learn more of Him and share Him with others, opportunities to delight in His creation and see more of who He is in every moment.  While sometimes our "asked for" prayers are not given in this life, we are promised, for those of us who place our faith and hope in him, that we will have everlasting blessings with him in heaven....blessings which far out-way anything we can comprehend here on this earth...and that is what Eric is experiencing now.

         To God be the Glory!

Our new soon-to-be Family!