As We Move Forward...

A lot has taken place since I last wrote!  Marc and I were married in San Diego on January 12, 2013.  It was a beautiful (yet cooler than expected) day as we celebrated with friends and family.  We felt very blessed by the people who were there with us.  Landon and my dad walked me down the aisle to meet Marc.  Since that day, Marc is no longer, "Marc" to Landon, but rather, "Daddy."  It blesses my heart to hear that, along with Marc referring to Landon as his "son."

Hawaii

Last few days in Oklahoma with my parents, brother, and sis-in-law

Landon was a big help

After a beautiful and relaxing week in Hawaii for our honeymoon, Marc and I flew back to Oklahoma to finish packing for the big move.  Landon stayed with Grandma and Papa while we drove 3000 miles across the country to our new home in Oak Harbor, Washington.  I know my parents treasured these last moments with Landon before our move.  It has been an adjustment for my family, whom have seen Landon every day since we moved back home when he was 5 months old.  In addition, my mom was with me pretty much every day since Landon was born in Shreveport during Eric's illness.  We all had sad/happy tears, as there were so many answered prayers....but yet was so hard to say good-bye.  However, Grandma and Papa were able to fly Landon to Seattle to meet us, and I know it gave them a little more peace to be able to see where we are living and help set up Landon's new bedroom.  While they miss us, I know they are enjoying this new chapter in their lives as well, just the two of them again!  (I know their house is MUCH cleaner!!)  Marc's and my trip driving was a bit stressful due to running into snow and ice in South Dakota and Wyoming.  We were able to stop and see Eric's family in Rapid City, along with Marc's mom in Gillette, although both were cut short due to the weather.  We were thankful to finally be able to drive the speed limit again once we arrived in Eastern Washington.  I enjoyed the scenery driving through Wyoming, Montana, and Washington!!!  Needless to say, we were very ready to arrive in Oak Harbor, which is 2 hours north of Seattle.  Whidbey Island is on the Puget Sound, and is absolutely gorgeous!  I have to admit to missing the sun a lot, but love being able to see the water and the snow-capped mountains in the distance!  We are right in the middle of the Cascade and Olympic Mountain Ranges.

Mom and I taking a walk by the water when they were out helping us unpack

So, we have begun our new life together....having lived here in WA for about a month now.  There have been adjustments....finding our new roles with Landon....finding time amidst a 2 year old for just the two of us...and just settling into a new place.  It isn't always an easy task---Marc learning to be a Father to a two-year old, Landon all of a sudden learning that there is a new man in is life telling him what to do, and I learning how to parent with someone---but one that we are taking one step at a time in. We have been thankful for good friends whom we look up to, and their wisdom on parenting through this process! And, I will say, for the most part, Landon has adapted very well to being here.

Meeting Daddy at base for lunch

I never want to take for granted my husband Marc, who, even when we were dating and engaged, just jumped right in from the start in loving Landon.  We both marvel at the love we know could only come from God, and that He gave Marc in loving Landon.    It blesses my heart to see him teaching him how to throw a baseball, how to feed the dog, and just the wrestling giggles they have together on the floor!  It also is such an incredible blessing to have someone to share in parenting with...someone that can enjoy peeking at your sleeping child, taking such pride that he's yours...someone to laugh about the funny things your child did or said...someone to do your child's bath and bedtime for you so you can go sit on the couch.

I write with tears in my eyes, not because I didn't have this for 2 years, but because I do have someone in my life to share in it with now.  My heart also overflows with thankfulness to all of the family and friends who filled in the gaps for me the last two years while I did walk the journey as a single mom.  I realize I had so many more benefits and help than most single moms do.  My parents went above and beyond their call to stand by Eric, Landon, and I.  I never want to get so wrapped up in my new life of having a husband, that I forget to reach out and give to those in need and who are hurting.  I have learned so much from the people in my life about serving

--from the people who brought Eric and I meals, to cleaning my house, to watching Landon when he was a baby, to giving me free massages, to taking the time to write a letter to me, telling of their prayers, to a gift basket at my door on Christmas from an unknown person, to flowers on hard anniversaries, to endless texts and calls just because...  

Many times I didn't have the strength to respond or even return the favor.  But these gifts, and so many more, were evidence of Christ's love to me through people.   I feel I have spent so much time on the receiving end these last 3 years, and I look forward to using my time, gifts, and resources to help others in the future. Marc and I are already praying about how God would use us as a couple--two people who love the Lord with all our hearts--and wish to serve him for his glory.

Luke 12:45  

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Marc and I have talked also about how to carry on Eric's legacy.  We feel strongly about continuing to share his legacy of faith through his life and death.  We've discussed how we do not want to allow our new marriage to in any way indicate our story, or Eric's, as over.  It could be mis-perceived as a happy ending to my hard story.  Or, how we now have, "Marc and Laura's new happily ever after family."  For while we do believe God answered many peoples' prayers in bringing our two lives together, we also believe God is still a good God even if I would remain a widow and single the rest of my life--same for Marc remaining single the rest of his life and never having children of his own.  And, while we have no doubt in God's hand in orchestrating and preparing Marc's heart to raise a boy as his own, we also believe God was still faithful despite Eric suffering through a gruesome cancer. We NEVER want to claim God is faithful only when good things happen. We believe God is a faithful God who answers prayers and gives good gifts to his children.  God is not the one that ever changes.  His character, his love, and his grace are not circumstantial, neither is it based on our merit or good works.

If I would have remained single, I would have continued to have to choose to thank God for the good things that would have always been around me (the list I mentioned before of how people served me is evidence), I would have continued to have to choose, despite my loneliness to give God praise that Eric is with him, forever healed in heaven.  I would have continued to have to choose to thank him for taking care of my salvation on the cross!  Those are BLESSINGS and GIFTS that he gives his children.  There would have been a specific reason why he would have kept me single here on earth...for I can't see the bigger picture that God has, but I know it is always good.  Marc and I thank him for giving us the gift of each other.  We also pray for opportunities to continue to share of my beloved Eric, the father to Landon, son to Bill and Rita, brother to Gregg, and friend to many.  His life had purpose here, he lived in obedience to his Heavenly Father on a daily basis, and I know is praising his Father right now in heaven!  I can't wait to see him someday again.  (Marc always says from the things I tell him about Eric..."We would have been friends.")  I think they would have.

So, this is how we "Move Forward," not "Move On:"  Never forgetting Eric or his life, but also living in the present and praising God for the gift of our new family together, The Stirtons.