Fighting

I found this picture the other day. While it looks like a simple whiteboard with marks on it, to me it means the world.  I took it because it pointed to my husband's character.

 I took it a few days into Eric's first chemo treatment while he was in the hospital at M.D. Anderson in Houston.  While he had been very sick to begin with, the Dr.'s seemed to have gotten him stabilized (especially the lungs), and Eric was determined to fight. I often wonder at how long he would have continued living had he not gotten going on treatment as fast as he did in Houston because of the aggressiveness of the cancer.

This picture showed the beginning of his fight.

It was Eric keeping track of the amount of rounds he walked around his hospital floor.  It wasn't that large of a floor... he would simply walk around the nurses station and back to his room... but it was him fighting with all he had.  After he had finished, he would go to the marker board quietly and mark another line.  When I was with him I would walk with him...slowly.  Most of the time we walked in silence... still only weeks into the diagnosis and the fact that our lives were changed forever.  He didn't have a lot of energy to talk.  But we walked together...arm in arm.  I remember on one of those walks that he said..."I think we should name our baby Landon."  Before the cancer, we had debated between that and another name, but for some reason, all of a sudden he needed to know the name for sure, and that is the one he liked best.  So Landon it was!

 My amazing husband still was strong. Yes, he had shed pounds, was prepared to lose his hair, was wearing a hospital gown in front of everyone, and was even not afraid to shed some tears at this new battle...but he continued to choose to "Run the race set before him with perseverance...fixing His eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 12:1) all the while.  This picture is just a reminder to me of the man I married....whom I will always love...and whom I miss with all my heart.  It also encourages me when I'm struggling.  His fight encourages me to fight when I don't feel I can any more.